vulturegore: lou reed squatting and singing into a mic (Default)
( May. 22nd, 2026 08:47 pm)
survived the week of horrors (PMS) and wanted to go to the cinema tonight (to watch mother mary) but got a headache, now I'm trying new painkillers which always makes me a bit nervous (these lists of side effects are scary, and I feel a bit itchy but that's probably me overthinking what it feels like to have a body lol). I started reading a book about octopi which is super facinating, next to ants they're probably my favorite animals (and the book has some really cool pictures). I also finished reading Carmilla today and might start Frankenstein next (I've been having urges to read gothic/horror classics, but I kind of also want to read something trashy so maybe it'll be Twilight instead). 

I'll go on a walk now I think and if my headache doesn't come back i'll post a recap of the movies I've watched last week (I've had it more or less done since monday, but alas week of horrors) 

edit: finally tshirt weather in the evening now, lots of ppl chilling outside that's what I live in a big city for, had half a cigarette (which is an occation, I rarely smoke), but my headache is comming back so movie recap tmrw!!
I don't fully unserstand the ettiqute on subscribing and allowing access yet/what to post publicly and what for the access list, so I've been just doing whatever. still a little confused on how you find ppl and communities on here too tbh! maybe once I have a bit more of an idea what this blog is going to look like I'll post in one of those addme or finding freinds etc communities, we'll see.

got kind of cold and windy again these past few days, and it's supposed to be raining all day, could be cozy but I'm not really feeling it for some reason. miss the sunshine from last week ig. had a dream about my crush from when I was 17/18, a recourring theme this past few months for some reason... dream diary incomming?

I really want to get back into creative wirting again, but I'm indecicive, I'll either work on the fic I've been planning for a few months (sk8 the infintiy, renga underground punk/band AU, if anyone is into sk8 still hmu pls!! I have not found ppl on here at all 😥) or on the original short story stuff I want to do, the thing is I write fanfic in english and original stuff in german so they feel like two different beasts entierely, so idk...

I was doing my uni reading in the library just now (am about half way through for today) but I'm gonna go get lunch now 
vulturegore: lou reed squatting and singing into a mic (Default)
( May. 11th, 2026 11:12 pm)
slow morning, a few hours lost to the void, then analytical statistics homework, went on a walk, brokkoli for dinner and then 4 1/2 hours on the phone with someone I have known for over a decade (knowing as an ongoing process)

it all happens slow and irregularly, but sometimes it really is all worth it at the end. i guess sometimes you have to give yourself a few years, others too if you like, but only if you can stand to be a little bitter about it, only if that's not the end of the world.
vulturegore: lou reed squatting and singing into a mic (Default)
( May. 11th, 2026 02:19 am)
I spent all day not doing any uni work, giving myself a bad haircut and trying not to think too much about anything, so now it's past 2am and I'm getting feels about new and old crushes, cementary dates etc etc, I am too close to looking up how to flirt with a guy (as a guy) on wiki how. I should go sleep, lots to do tmrw

(and I do belive most things only become truly real when you express them in some way or another, everything only ever exists through its context, and ppl forget/don't know this when they've not been profoundly lonely for a long enough time, which is not a bad thing, and I'm sure there are other ways to realize how important the whole "recognition of the self through the other" thing is)
sometimes I lament about the fact that the internet I know and have for the most part always known is sterile, monetized, and deanonymized, but then I remember forums and websites do still exist and I just have to make an account. I tried with substack, but that was intimidating, and then with heyspace (myspace revival) but that website broke, we'll see what happens. 
these live journal vibes make me feel like pete wentz ca. 2005 so amateur prose/lyricism incoming, beware. 
other than that I might write short stories in german on here, not sure if this is the right space, but I really want to ge back into it
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